I feel great
I just peed on a car
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
