your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
