I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
