Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Congratulations! We have a period
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