I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
