from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
