Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize