More tranny stories later!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
