I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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