I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
