God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
