I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
