that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Randomize