actually, I'm a sock model
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
