Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
