He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
