fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You can't just leave with hair like that
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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