and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
