I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
