whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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