so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
