I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
not ubering you a puppy
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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