alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize