I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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