Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize