Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize