It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
