You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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