Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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