She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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