no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
