I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
