don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
