The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
