There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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