worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
