Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
