Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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