Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
