life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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