Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
