Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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