Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
