i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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