i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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