How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
