oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
