apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize