It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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