I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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