Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
