He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
