How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
