so that wasnt chicken after all
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
