is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
