So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
