they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
