come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
