Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
