sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
