a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize