i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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