Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
