YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
