We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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