If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
