definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
