Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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