So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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