I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
