Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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