u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
