Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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