I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
