ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize