apparently the secret to your success is patron
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
