The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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