I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I am available for nakedness
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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