Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
