Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
