I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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