I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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