Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
