Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
